I like to think it a success when the cops are called
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you will always have a special place in my vag
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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