we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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