quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
