I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
