I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
