i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
