he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
