If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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