A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
In America we eat man semen.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
