i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize