Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's rum buckets o'clock
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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