my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
