I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Please don't give away my fajitas
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