if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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