is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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