Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
