he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
