Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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