I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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