Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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