It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
