im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
