So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
