I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
