btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
