It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
