I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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