Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
