I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
