using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You are a genius and a whore.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Idk if I want to put a bra on
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
