Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
