It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
