So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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