i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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