Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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