So drunk its hurt
That's intense
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
