It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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