is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize