dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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