I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
