some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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