Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
