Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
