was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
