Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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