Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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