as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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