A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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