brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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