Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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