I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
