): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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