i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
