Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Drake has all the answers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
