Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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