Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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