thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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