its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We need to get me chipped asap
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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