How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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