Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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