I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Rumble strips road head = magical
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
