I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I AM VODKA MAN
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
